Random Conversations

I started keeping track of some of the funny and random things people have said to me or I overheard, after seeing another PCV post some of these on her blog.  I also just need to share some of the comments that have been said to me or in my presence that would be deemed politically incorrect or sexual harassment in the states (note some aren't PG). So enjoy a laugh at my expense.

Ciao
--Mei

To me: After talking to you on the phone, I thought you would be peach like us. (Coworkers 8-year-old daughter after meeting me for the first time)

Me: I feel so bad. 

To me: Don’t worry they are use to it.

(In response to youth waiting for more than 30 minutes for us to bring them lunch after we ran out of food at an event.)

Me: Everyone here dances, sings, and plays soccer right.

A friend: Yeah soccer is just like going to jail in the states.  Everyone does it.

I just take him off the hook, lay him on his back and hit him with the big long metal thing.  (Coworkers 8-year-old daughter teaching me how to fish)

To me: You have a lot of complexions.  You were brown before, but you look white now.  (Said by a random dude that works in my local grocery store)

A friend: Can you dance?

Me: Not sure if I can, but I enjoy dancing.

A friend: Don’t worry if you start dancing and look bad I’ll just let everyone know you are with the Special Olympics.

A (older, overweight, and short) guy I know to me: No thanks, the only cake I eat bleeds. (After someone else offered him a piece of cake)

To me: Hey…what have you been up to, you have gotten fat.

To me: What’s your other name?

Me: What my middle name?

To me: No, your black name.  You look like you have a name that has a “Q” in it, like Shequisha, or Shaquanna.

To me: If I come to visit you in America don’t take me to the touristy areas. I want see someone get shot, some domestic violence, a drive by…just like on TV!

Everyone else: I didn’t get cake for my birthday back in June.

Me: Yeah I didn’t get a welcome cake when I arrived here.  Can I get a cake when I leave?

To me (said by a married male “co-worker”): No, you can’t get a cake but you can give me some cake before you leave. 

There are lots of foreigners in ______________ (a nearby village) that’s why they have so many riots.  Where I grew up, we thought with one mind so we never had things like riots. (Said during a work meeting discussing the delay of an event because of riots)

Co-worker: Any personnalia to present today? Any new babies. Actually, ______________ and ____________ you just got back from maternity leave so you aren’t allowed to have any more babies.  Mei though if you want, you can get a taste of SA before you leave and take something back with you, please feel free. Just stay away from married men.  (said in formal work meeting with 15 or so participants)

Manager: We need to make sure that they get paid.  You get to go to the bank every month.  Even if you aren’t happy with what you get when you get there, you get to go.  (Said by a manager to employees to motivate them to do necessary paper work so their volunteers can get stipends)

Co-worker: She has this huge medical kit that Peace Corps gave her and half of it is condoms.

Another co-worker: Are the condoms from America?  If so, they will be too small to use here.

(Married) Co-worker: I haven't seen you in awhile.  I need to come over and spend the night with you one day.
Me: Nah that's ok.
Co-worker: Why?
Me: I'm not interested and its not necessary.
Co-worker: You are right.  You are lonely, I am lonely.  Two lonely people together at night wouldn't be good.

Hairdresser: In America English is your first language, so you don't need to study English.  Do you only learn how to sing and dance at school because all Americans can sing and dance no matter how young or old they are.  

Why do you build your houses out of wood.  I always see these images of sticks floating away after a flood.  With all of the floods, mud slides, hurricanes, and tornados you have in America wouldn't it make more sense to build your house out of bricks like us.  Don't y'all know about the three little pigs?