Celebrating Freedom Day

South Africans celebrate Freedom Day, which commemorates the first post-apartheid elections held in 1994, on April 27th.  I joined ~80 women, 25 and older (the majority were older than 60 and the oldest was 79), from across the Royal Bafokeng Nation for a 3K Fun Walk in celebration of Freedom Day.  Enjoy a couple photos and a video from the day.
-Mei

Warming up with a song (get low)

Warming up with a song (reach high)

I was selected to carry the banner

Mmeholo, the Queen Mother, addressing the participants before the walk

And we are off...we walked from the recreational field to the high school and back

The first 10 women to finish in each age category received a T-Shirt and a medal 

The 65+ Ladies taking a pic

The 65+ Ladies Singing while they prep to take a souvenir photo 

Tswana youth cultural dancers performing at the end of the event

Tswana Youth Cultural Dancers in Action

Sharp Left: Getting Around S.A.

I want to start providing a better understanding of what it is like to live in S.A., especially some of the nuanced differences from my life in the States. Since I reallllllllllllllllly miss my car, Destiny, I figured I would start with transportation or transport as it is commonly referred to here. Can I just say again I SSSSOOOOOO miss my car.

Saying goodbye to Destiny at the airport

With that said many people do own a car here.  You can see French (Peugeot), and Indian (Tata) brands intermingled with the American, Korean, German, and Japanese brands, we are accustomed to seeing in the states, driving up on and down the South African highways.  The type of vehicles being driven are closer to what you would see in North America more so then Europe with people driving everything from pick-up trucks and compact SUVs to mini vans and sedans.  I going to take a swag and estimate that 35% of the population owns a vehicle.  Actually I Googled and found that in 2003 26% of the SA population owned a car so I shouldn’t be too far off.

The rest of the population that doesn’t own a car gets around by walking, buses, public taxis, and private taxis.  There is even a high-speed train system called the Gautrain that will transport you around the Gautain province (this is the province where Pretoria and Johannesburg are situated).

So lets talk a bit more about the public taxis or Kumbis.  Kumbis are vans that hold 14-15 passengers (depending on whether or not 1 or 2 passengers are in the front seat) and run predefined short and long distance routes.  You pick them up on the side of the road or from a taxi rank. 

You will see people up and down the S.A. roads extending their arms and forming a hand sign of pointing up, down, to the side, etc. (reminds me of folks trying to pick up a hack in Baltimore).  The hand sign communicates to the driver which direction the person is looking to go.  If the passing taxi has space and is going in the direction you indicated it will then pull over and pick you up.

In large taxi ranks, like the one I have in Rustenburg, signs designate which cities, towns, or villages the taxi is heading to.  Similar to taking bush taxis in other parts of Africa, the taxi will pull off once it is full.  In a busy town like Rustenburg, taxis don’t take more than 10-15 minutes to fill up.  In less populated areas I have heard waits can be more than 30 minutes.

Rustenburg Taxi Rank

Taxi drivers are notoriously crazy and bad drivers similar to taxi drivers in NYC.  To let the driver know where they want to get off, passengers yell out things such as stop sign, sharp right, or sharp left, or after robot.

The most interesting part of the taxis ride is the payment system.  BTW for reference, I pay 9R ($1.16) to take a taxi to Rustenburg (town or toropo in Tswana) from Phokeng (approximately a 20 min ride) and 6R ($0.77) from the Rustenburg taxi rank to the Waterfall Mall (mallo in Tswana).  When you catch a taxi from a taxi rank, one person in each row collects everyone’s money.  That pooled money is then passed up row by row to the driver, by tapping the shoulder of the person in front of you and handing them the money.  While the money is passed how many passengers it covers is communicated (kind of like a game of telephone).  The passenger in the front seat collects all of the payments and passes them to the driver.  The driver then makes change, sometimes being assisted by the passenger in the front seat, and the change is passed backed to the appropriate row.  To designate which row the change is going to the driver will state how much money he was given and how many people it covered (i.e. 100R 4). The passengers in each row sort out the dissemination of change.

Sitting inside a taxi waiting for it to fill up

 I find this so interesting because the foundation of this payment system is communal and trusting in nature.  I keep wondering if something like this would ever work in the U.S. because we are so distrusting, individualistic, and in some regards prefer not to interact with strangers.  I know it wouldn’t work if for no other reason then passengers sit really close to each other.  Speaking directly about paying though, I keep thinking in the States someone would try to get away with not paying or underpaying, especially since if you get on at a from the side of the road you just pass your money up at some point before you get off.  Imagining how the ride would go if it was full of Americans always gives me a quick laugh though.

So far I haven’t had a taxi ride that was too eventful.  Yesterday, I did have a guy that decided he wanted to be my friend.  Despite my putting on my headphones instead of continuing the conversation with him, he decided to pester me about giving him one of the ear buds so he could hear what I was listening to, giving him my phone number, and me taking his phone number (I took it even though I told him I would never call him).  He even just stared at me (like literally with his head down on the seat in front of him) when I finally just decided to ignore him.  Thankfully he got off before for me.

I am hoping that once I learn Tsawna, I will be able to participate in the very animated conversations that usually take place during the taxi rides.  Hopefully, if you ever visit S.A. this quick taxi tutorial will help you with navigation.

--Mei

Ladies, Do You Know Your Worth?

(Originally posted on http://womenofcolorlivingabroad.blogspot.com/)


One of the more interesting cultural traditions I have learned about during my time here in South Africa is the Lobolo.  It’s a traditional “dowry type” custom where the soon-to-be-groom compensates the soon-to-be bride’s family with cattle or cash to marry the bride. According to Wikipedia* (and yes I am quoting Wikipedia), “the custom is aimed at bringing the two families together, fostering mutual respect, and indicating that the man is capable of supporting his wife financially and emotionally.”

To my understanding, the “groom” will meet with the male heads of the “brides” family, i.e. her father, uncles, etc.  The males will then discuss and debate how much the bride’s Lobolo should be or in other words how much she is worth.  Her value is determined by how much and what type of education she has received, whether or not she is a virgin or has any kids, her age, and her occupation amongst other things.    

My favorite response to someone hitting on me has now become, “you can’t afford my Lobolo.” OK I have to admit I haven’t said this aloud to anyone, but one day I really will, lol.  In the meantime, it has gotten me to thinking, what am I worth and have I been dating people that could afford my Lobolo? (I should state here that many South African couples date for an extended period so the man can save enough to pay the Lobolo)

I am 34, I have no kids, I have an advanced degree, once upon a time I had a “good” job, I speak 2 languages, working on learning 2 more languages, and I am well traveled.  So in this culture my Lobolo would be pretty high (and yes I have asked a couple people for reference).  BTW-I know these are somewhat superficial criterion, but I feel that my non-resume credentials and characteristics are high Lobolo worthy as well! :0)  

What I have realized during my time here is, how much I have dated people that probably couldn’t afford my Lobolo.  As a Black American female, I feel that American society tells me I need to “date down” in order to avoid the statistical plight of the single educated and successful Black female.   While, in South Africa I feel that I don’t need to be ashamed of my successes or feel that they are going to doom me to a life of singledom.  My successes just further increase my worth!!!

So to all my Single “Women of Color Living Abroad,” next time someone questions you about your relationship status or makes you feel guilty about forsaking pursuing a mate for traveling, just let them know you are working on increasing your Lobolo!!!  

-Mei

*Wikipedia never disappoints and has a pretty good write up on the Lobolo. if you would like to learn more.

Mental Sanity

Although I have been in SA for two months, I have only been at my post for a month.  The first three months, especially the first month, are the toughest periods of a volunteer’s Peace Corps service.  I am happy to report though that I emerged victorious from my “first month at post” slump.

Admittedly though, the isolation and solitude were getting to me, sitting through long meetings where I didn’t understand a single word being said was nerve racking, and the overly aggressive and flirtatious nature of men was irritating me (I ask everyone to put a little bit of money aside every month for me please.  I may go to jail for castrating a man before I leave here.  Since I know I won’t survive an SA prison I will need your help to make bail—thanks in advance!). Plus, my original expectations of what I would be doing are a bit different than my present actuality. I was feeling like an overexperienced, underutilized, and overeducated intern (I actually even was presented as an intern at a conference). 

Ironically, I calculated that I make 5% of what I use to make (if I include housing and my readjustment allowance I can get up to 10% of my former income).  My mother poignantly informed me I also only do 5% of what I use to do.  True True---but that’s the problem. I don’t regret my decision to quit my job and take a “dream break” at all though.  I sometimes though do question doing this Peace Corps thing again. I’ve had this experience and got the messed-up malaria memory to prove it.  With that said, I made a commitment.  I also realized I have spent YEARS stressing and running around doing too much.  I am going to chill out, appreciate this moment, and make an impact wherever I can.  When will I ever have an opportunity like this again?  I digress…so where was I was…oh yes I am emerging victorious….

Anywho, we all go through “slump periods,” whether or not we are strangers in a foreign land or comfortable at home.  So I figured, I would share my “getting through strategies!” 

1) Don’t Stress

I arrived at post motivated to attack my projects head on.  After sharing my one page overview of my marketing strategy and tactics with someone, he aptly gave me the advice that it’s not about when I achieve my results but how I achieve them.  He urged me to momentarily put aside my Americaness (he literally took my one pager and moved it to the side and said, “that’s nice and very American”) and take the time to absorb the culture.  By spending time observing and participating in my local community, I would have a better understanding of how to implement my projects.

w/ Platinum Stars (Football/Soccer) Supporters

RBS/NBA Middle School Girls Basketball Game 

RBS Athletics (Track) Meet

Since then, I have really chilled out.  I don’t get bothered when my meetings are postponed, canceled or I just get stood up.  I have lowered the bar on what I am trying to accomplish every week (as long as I have one productive meeting a week I am good vs. before my goal was one productive meeting a day).  I have been filling my time attending and volunteering at the sporting events of my Royal Bafokeng Sports (RBS) "co-workers."   This has allowed me to meet people in the community and see some of the surrounding villages.  I even volunteer as a "coach"with the middle and high school cheerleaders. 

RBS Handball Tournament

BTW-I have made progress on some of my projects.  I relaunched the Special Olympics Facebook page and developed their social media strategy.  I even wrote their posts for the next couple of months.  If you are interested, you can check it out at: www.facebook.com/specialolympicssouthafrica

2) Exercise

Running in my neighborhood was awkward and I was scared I was going to get bit by a dog.  So I now run around the tennis or basketball courts at the stadium.  I have never been a runner but I am finding it quite relaxing!  

3) Physically Escape

Sometimes I just need to escape from village life.  So every weekend, I go to the mall to go grocery shopping.  While I am there I also treat myself to lunch and a movie.  I also just discovered that the Royal Mareng Hotel at the Bafokeng Sports Campus (there is where VIPs/athletes stay when they use the Sports Campus facilities) is AWESOME---it looks like a “W” inside!!!  I plan to do lunch here occasionally as an escape as well (I am also trying to convince them to do like a First Friday type event, we will see how that goes).

 Lobby Lounge at Royal Mareng Hotel

Outdoor Dining Area and Patio at the Royal Mareng Hotel

Enjoying Sugar Crepes and Ice Cream

Going to see "Good Deeds" with Nthabiseng (BTW watching Tyler Perry with an int'l audience makes me cringe) 

I also have scheduled a monthly major excursion.  Last month, I went to Sun City, which is roughly 30 minutes away.  This weekend for my April trip I am going to spend the weekend with a bschool friend in the city.

Sun City

Beach at the Valley of the Waves, Sun City

Valley of the Waves After Closing and Everyone Left

4) Musically Escape

My Ipod has become my best friend.  I zone out now and listen to music as I walk around town, travel to the mall, etc. As I laughed out loud, while eating lunch by myself and listening to a Dave Chappelle skit, I realized I need to try not to zone out too much or I will be crazy (or crazier) by the time I leave here.

I also put together a “Motivation and Inspiration” play list that I listen to whenever I need a pick me up!

5) Journal

Another piece of advice from the guy that told me to be less American.  I wasn’t journaling because I figured blogging allowed me to record my experiences.  I also forgot about the therapeutic nature of journaling.

6) Record Daily Blessings

As part of my journal entries, I also include how I was blessed during the week.  I did this as well when I lived in Philadelphia to help me be less negative about my experiences there.

My Guacamole and Salsa

Easter Dinner, took me 3 days to make everything because I only have 2 pots, lol

7) Cook

I am so not the cooking person at home, but I find it relaxing (and time consuming since I do everything from scratch) here.  Plus, eating my favorite dishes makes home not seem so far away (I picked up a bad habit of purchasing “recovery shakes” at my gym after working out, so I even make protein shakes to consume after my workouts)!

Easter Dinner: Salad, Mac and Cheese, Deviled Eggs, Rice Pilaf, Baked Chicken, String Beans, and Cornbread

9) Feed my American Culture Addiction

As much as I love learning about other cultures, being immersed in another culture 24/7 makes me crave American culture.  I get my fix by Facebooking, watching movies, and reading blogs (I am particularly addicted to www.VerySmartBrothas.com and Madame Noire's Ask A Black Man web series).   

10) Further Develop My Hobbies

A Ring and 2 Sets of Earrings 

When I get bored I make jewelry.  I took some classes in Philly last year and brought the materials with me.

11) Trust in the Lord…

I think this excerpt excerpt from my devotion, “Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence,” the other night sums it up…

“Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good, including the things you wish were different.  Start with where you are at this point in time and space, accepting that this is where I intend you to be.  You will get through the day one step, one moment at a time.  Your main responsibility is to remain attentive to Me, letting Me guide you through the many choices along your path.

This sounds like an easy assignment, but it is not.  Your desire to live in My Presence goes against the grain of ’the world, the flesh, and the devil.’ Much of your weariness results from your constant battle against these opponents.  However, you are on the path of My choosing, so do not give up!”

--Mei

BTW-To all my PCRVs, PCVs, RPCVs and future PCVs...yes I know my experience isn't very "Peace Corpsie."  I do feel truly blessed.  I also truly believe, the Lord will never put more on you than you can bear.  And I am not one of those people that joined Peace Corps to experience poverty or "roughing it." At the end of the day, we are all here to serve and living conditions don't change that.  Plus, as a PCV here told me, I already paid my dues!!!

ABCs of Travel

One of my fellow bloggers (oh yeah I write for this blog now) for “Women of Color Living Abroad”  posted her ABCs of Travel last week.  I thought it was really cute so I am doing mine as well! 

Enjoy!!!

--Mei

A: Age you went on your first international travel

The first time I got on a plane to go somewhere that required a passport, I was 21. I went to Paris, France and London, England for 2-weeks with the Fashion Merchandising Department at my University.  That trip changed my life. I returned on a quest to see the world.

B. Best foreign beer you had and where:

Yuck, I don’t drink beer!

C. Cuisine (favorite):

Italian!!!  And I had the best Italian food in Rome.  It was sinful it was so good!!!

D. Destinations, favorite, least favorite and why:

Favorite: Paris, its my first love!

Least: Mali, the heat, flies, and horrible transportation with even more horrible roads made this trip dreadful.  Plus, I got EXTREMELY sick.  I have to admit Dogon Country is beautiful though.

E. Event you experienced abroad that made you go Wow

Paragliding in the Andes, in Peru.  Running off the side of a mountain and floating15,000 feet up in the air for 30 minutes.  (Drops the mic and walks away!)

F. Favorite mode of Transportation

Zimijhan!  You haven’t lived until you have taken a motorcycle taxi in Benin.  It is one of the most thrilling and convenient forms of travel I have experienced.

G. Greatest feeling while traveling

I love mixing and mingling with strangers.  A fun random evening with random folks always brings me a bit of peace and joy.

H. Hottest place you traveled to

Niger and Mali.  It was so hot freckles were randomly just popping up on my arms and face. 

I. Incredible service you’ve experienced and where

Spa in Marrakesh, Morocco.  It was a tad bit too intimate, but I was definitely pampered.

J. Journey that took the longest

Djenne, Mali.  Via bush taxi and bus from Cotonou, Benin, it took us over a week to get there because we had to stop and get visas.  Plus, once we got to Mali we hiked through Dogon Country for three days. Overall, it took so long and we were so tired we couldn’t make it all the way to Timbuktu.

K. Keepsake from your travels

Weapons (I have everything from a Hawaiian blowdart gun to a Japanese ninja star) and traditional handmade dolls.

L. Let down site: when and where

Andorra.  There is absolutely no need to ever go to Andorra, well unless you want an old school McDonalds Apple Pie.  Strangely, Andorra is like the last place on earth to still carry the original recipe.

M. Moment where you feel in love with travel

When I visited Paris for the first time. The Seine, the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame and the overall quaintness of the city spoke to me.  Even after living there, my heart still flutters every time I am in Paris!!!

N. Nicest hotel you stayed in

Well the coolest was The Mondrian, Los Angeles, CA (work trip)

 O. Obsession – What photos are you obsessed with taking pictures of while traveling

Street performers (video and still photos)

P. Passport stamps, how many and from where

I have no clue, but I have 2 full passports though and 2 empty ones that I am looking to fill up!!!

Q. Quirkiest Attraction you have visited and where

Pissing boy, Brussels, Belgium, Las Ramblas, Barcelona, Spain, and seeing the Harujiku girls (sorry too lazy to Google the correct spelling) hanging out in Tokyo

R. Recommended sight, event, or experience

Get off the touristy path and hang with the locals.  I promise no matter where you are they don’t bite.

S. Splurge: Something you have no problem spending money on while traveling

Food!  I always treat myself to at least 1 or 2 good meals (i.e. go to a place that requires shoes).

T. Touristy thing you’ve done

As much as I talk about tourist, I do tons of these things.  Like taking a picture with a gladiator outside of the Coliseum or eaten a Belgium waffle in Belgium.  Probably the corniest was when I paid street performers in L.A. (Santa Monica) to krump for me.  I couldn’t leave LA without seeing krumping!!!

U. Unforgettable travel memory

On the road, traveling from Andorra to France, we saw black piglets on the side of the road and decided to get out and take a picture of them.  We were in the mountains in the middle of nowhere and there was a small cottage that looked abandoned off the road.  On the small cottage door where a house number would be my name (in French-Micha), which is not very common, was written.  It freaked me out.

V. Visas: how many and where

France (student), Benin (Volunteer/Work), South Africa (Volunteer/Work); Travel Visas from (I think): Morocco, Togo (uuuhhh…I have like 8 of these because Togo requires a Visa every time you pass through, even coming and going more than 10-days has passed), Ghana, Senegal, Gambia, Niger, Mali, Burkina Faso, Nigeria (this is prettiest one), and Cote d’Ivoire

W. Wine, best glass while traveling and where

I am really enjoying South African wines.  Ironically, when I lived in France I never drank wine.  Just had an occasionally glass of Kir.

X. eXcellent Views and Where

South Africa is beautiful and has numerous excellent views including Table Mountain and Cape of Good Hope.

Y. Year’s spent traveling

(Will) Have lived 4 years of my life abroad and have been traveling internationally since 1999! 

Z. Zealous sports fans

Philadelphia Eagle Fans (an American Football team). They were in rare form (when they loss!!!) at the Jacksonville Superbowl in ______ (I don’t remember the year and again I am too lazy to google).

A Letter to My Bougie Folks...

Dear Bougie Folks,

I am writing because surprisingly I really miss you.  No one has asked me in quite awhile what I do, where I went to school, and did I pledge.  Plus, I need a good ol fashion HBCU style spades games at a BBQ, a _____ National Conference party, or a happy hour at a chic boutique hotel in my life.  I figure I need to temporarily import you to get my fix so I am offering you the opportunity to visit South Africa.  It will only increase your bougie status to exclaim: “I am going to South Africa”…”I bought this in South Africa,” or “did you know in South Africa ______.”  Just to let you know a trip to South Africa is just a bit more than going to Essence. If you can’t make it I’ll just make sure I am home in time for _______Conference so we can catch up.

Smooches,

Meish

PS: Hipsters I really miss you too and I will meet you at that cool new restaurant for brunch soon! :0)