Freak out Moment

Peace Corps service is characterized by emotional highs and lows. I figure if I only share with you my highs then I’m not giving you a true understanding of the experience.

So I had a freak out moment yesterday (and if ya know me can I be prone to these :0). I went out to where I will be living for a meeting. It’s a town in Africa. (It’s a TOWN in AFRICA!). After being in Jo’burg for the past two weeks (I really liked living in Africa lite), I have to mentally prepare to transition to living in a town (which by American standards really is a big village with electricity and without the mud brick houses). Plus, as we are taking a tour of the school where we will be hosting the soccer tournament (which is nestled on the side of a mountain, in the “woods”), the teacher is telling us to watch out for snakes (she has removed two from her office this year---only one of which was poisonous???) and we saw a bat on the side of a building.

All of this made me realize that I completely flipped my life upside down and started questioning why???? I was comfortable and am now completely uncomfortable. I have no clue what my future holds. I’m in a strange and foreign land. I have no car (and have to take public taxis better known in West Africa as bush taxis). I have no money. And I am completely and utterly alone (there is no corps to the Peace Corps!). I’m older now too than when I first did this, which makes me rationalize everything a bit more.

On the other side I do realize that being too comfortable, settled, and unfulfilled were my catalyst for this journey. I would sit in my cube at work numb, trying to build up the motivation to go to meetings or do my work. I felt like I lost a bit of myself every day I went to work---a glacier slowly being chiseled to an ice cube. Now, I am doing everything I wanted to do (live abroad, make a positive impact on society while doing what I love-marketing). I may not know what my future holds but I know I am walking in purpose. I spent three years being miserable in Philadelphia. I think I can spend 10-months being uncomfortable in a town in South Africa. Plus, I know this is where I am supposed to be and frequently receive confirmation of that fact!

Below is one of the songs I listen to, to give me perspective during my freak out moments.

--Mei